Meditations On Leadership
These are my thoughts on leadership related topics and ideas. It is meant to be a sort of journal for me and if you find it useful than I am happy to have helped.
I quieted my inner voice for so long I didn't even realize I had hushed it at all. I took aptitude tests and personality test but I could never figure out what my passion was. I've always been an avid reader but as a youth I read mostly fiction. One of my managers introduced me to a non-fiction book about improving life and that started me on a journey of reading book after book of non-fiction. I think I can safely say that I am addicted to reading and learning now. All that reading didn't seem to get me closer to figuring out what my passion was and it ate away at me. I tried a lot of different things but I just couldn't find fulfillment in what I was doing. Then one day as I was driving it dawned on me that the books that interested me most and that I sought out were books about leaders and being a better reader. I was shocked to discover that my passion is leadership but as I thought about it it made perfect sense. I had left two really good jobs because I disagreed with the leadership practices of the leaders. I remember arguing with a teacher in high-school because I felt like he had misused his authority as a leader. The moments in my life where I felt the most passionate were all centered around leadership. But I had quieted that voice for a number of reasons and it wasn't until I let myself explore the world through reading book after book that I really found my true passion. I didn't figure it out until I had read well over a hundred books that seemed interesting to me.
Maybe that isn't how you will find your passion but if you are looking for your passion you should at least consider reading a bunch of non-fiction books. Start with one that sounds interesting. A lot of them will mention other non-fiction books so if you come across another in your reading that sounds interesting write it down and read that one. Then read another, and another, and another. Keep reading until you find your passion and then don't stop reading. If it is truly your passion you will want to learn as much as you can about it so keep learning about it. You will branch out into related fields and learn more and more and it will make you better at what you want to do and better as a person. I want to explain a subtle thing that I discovered later in my journey. There is a difference between finding your passion and finding meaning. I used to use the two words synonymously but there is a difference. Finding your passion means that you have found something that drives you and invigorates your mind, body, and soul. It makes work fun. Finding meaning is a completely different thing. Finding meaning means that you have figured out how to appreciate everything in life. Not just the small things but the big things too. It means that you find meaning in the pain and the joy. That you stop taking things for granted and you don't want to let a moment go by without savoring it. No matter how painful or enjoyable that moment may be. People sometimes find meaning after a tragedy or a near death experience. Sometimes that meaning is permanent and sometimes people lose it again. But you don't have to experience anything terrible to find meaning. You can find it by looking deep within yourself and seeking truth from the source of all knowledge, God. Don't rely on a pastor or a guru or any other person religious or non religious to get you that meaning. No one else can make this connection. It has to be you. Quiet your mind. Ask the hard questions that you have. Seek for meaning. And listen. Do this over and over and over for as long as it takes. Just like I didn't find my passion until I had read well over a hundred books, I didn't find true meaning until I had looked for it many many times. Until I had prayed over and over for it. Until I had quieted my mind day after day and sought diligently. Now that I have it I know it is fragile and I can lose it if I stop working on it. But it brings me a deep sense of calm and grounds me in a way that makes me feel stronger and more real than I was before. Like I am truly existing now. In conclusion, passion is what makes life fun and exciting. It is the butterfly in my mind that I chase with a curiosity and mirth. It brings real fulfillment to my days. On the other hand the meaning in life is what puts the foundation under my castle in the clouds. It is independent of my passion and much more stable. It is not related to any one task that I do and it adds a richness to the passion that I follow. If I only had my passion it would be like a beautiful violin solo. It can be moving and pure and powerful. But having meaning added to that is like having a whole orchestra, brass band, jazz band, choir, back up dancers, and dj. Passion brings me joy but meaning enriches my joy. Find both. Don't be content with just passion. Most people stop after they find their passion but you can find more. Much much more.
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AuthorJ. LaVarr Roberts Archives
April 2021
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