Why Sincere Leader?
The word sincere is from the Latin word sincerus which means clean or pure. It's possible that the Latin word was derived from two other Latin words Sine (Meaning "without") and Cera (Meaning "wax"). It is thought that craftsman in ancient Rome used wax to cover and hide imperfections in marble, wood, pottery, and other crafts. So for an item to be "Sine Cera" or without wax it meant that it was the real deal. A Sincere Leader is a leader who doesn't hide their imperfections with metaphorical wax but works to become the real deal.
The Sincere Leader's Reading List
If you are a leader and you want to be a good leader, you are in the right place. There is no magic bullet to becoming a good leader but a lot of people have done the leg work in figuring out the problems and solutions surrounding leadership. All you and I need to do is apply what they teach. Simple to say but not easy to do. Below you will find two questions followed by a list of books that I have read. Each book has a short paragraph of my thoughts on the book. I only include books that I believe have been the most helpful in my journey to becoming a more sincere leader. I have tried to organize the list to make sense but it isn't in order of importance so feel free to read in any order you like. Hopefully you find this list useful.
-J. LaVarr Roberts
-J. LaVarr Roberts
Meditations On Leadership
Meditations on Leadership is my blog about my thoughts on leadership. I often delve deeper into the books listed and will link out to the blog in the descriptions below. Feel free to check out my blog here:
Question 1
If you didn't have any title. If you didn't have any leverage like signing the checks. If people had no reason to follow you except for who you are. Would they follow you?
Question 2
Don't fall into the trap of becoming one person's or one method's student. In order to develop a leadership style that fits your uniqueness you must explore many different opinions. Sometimes, you will find a new idea that contradicts one you once wholeheartedly believed. That is good. One book isn't enough. Twenty isn't enough. Keep reading and learning. Can you do that?
The List
Section 1: Self Mastery
Thoughts:
The phrase that comes to mind is "Physician, heal thyself." As a leader you are expected to understand certain things and behave in certain ways. You can't do that without self mastery. This is the most difficult part of leadership because there is never a break from it. You must always be in control of yourself. It is also important as a leader to become the best you can be because like Jim Rohn said "Success is not to be pursued; it is to be attracted by the person you become."
1-How to Win Friends and Influence People
A Classic by Dale Carnegie. Though the book does talk about your interactions with others it is really about learning to be the master of yourself. This book is full of insight after insight and I would recommend multiple read throughs of it. Be careful though, it isn't meant to be a bag of tricks. You have to be genuine. One of the most important lessons I learned from this book was to listen to people. Before reading this book I didn't know how to listen well enough so that people feel heard and are heard. Listening that way is a key skill for a leader. You can read more about my thoughts on this book here.
2-The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People
By Stephen R. Covey. Another classic that has become a staple in practically every leader's library. Again, read this multiple times in your career/life. The habits taught in this book are essential to being a good leader and obtaining self mastery. There are so many good insights and stories in this book that teach wonderful life lessons. You can read more about my thoughts on this book here.
3-A guide to the good life
By William B. Irvine. This book is about the ancient philosophy of the Stoics. It will help you learn how to better understand your reactions and how to control them so that you don't lose your cool in tough situations. It also helped me learn how to better appreciate life and live more in the moment. I was skeptical at first but I found what I learned in this book to be extremely useful. You can read more about my thoughts on this book here.
4-The Wealthy Gardener
By John Soforic. This book was recommended to me by a good friend and I am grateful for that. It is written in story form but has real life experiences mixed in. I learned more about listening to my inner dialogue from this book among other things. It will make you think about your life choices and what is important to you. This introspection is crucial to becoming a good leader. You can read a more about my thoughts on this book here.
5-Dare to Lead
By Brené Brown. Brené Brown is currently at the forefront of leadership. If you ever find yourself thinking that leadership is easy Brené will straighten you out quickly. This book dives into the vulnerability required of a good leader that people will follow. She is a passionate person and it is easy to get caught up in her brilliance. She has some great TED talks and other resources as well. Learn as much as you can from her but remember that there is more out there. You can read more about my thoughts on this book here.
6- Essentialism
By Greg McKeown. There are a few books on my list that hold a special place in my heart. This is one, not because it is better than any of the others but because it is the book that started me on my path to being less materialistic. I believe a good leader should strive to curb materialistic tendencies. This is also a good book to help you clean out your schedule so you can focus on the more important things. You can read more about my thoughts on this book here.
7- What Got You Here Won't Get You There
By Marshall Goldsmith and Mark Reiter. Many of the skills that leaders develop on the pathway to the top are not the ones that will get them all the way to the top. This is a great book for examining yourself and your preconceptions so that you can move forward with greater surety. Take time to focus on developing those new skills that you need to take the next step.
8- I Will Teach You To Be Rich
By Ramit Sethi. I believe that a good leader should have a healthy relationship with money. It is important to understand money in a good way and most of us are never taught how to make money our servant rather than being a servant to money. This book will help you automate your finances and make good headway on becoming financially independent. You can read more about my thoughts on this book here.
9- The Millionaire Next Door
By Thomas J. Stanley and William D. Danko. I recommend this book for the same reason I did the last one. Good leaders must have a good healthy concept of money and how it really works vs how most people think it works. There is a difference between being rich and being wealthy.
10- How to Own Your Own Mind
By Napoleon Hill. Napoleon Hill's most famous and widely read book is Think and Grow Rich and it is a really good book but I need to reread it before I decide which category it will go in. This book is very similar to that book because it is also based on the interviews that Napoleon Hill had with Andrew Carnegie. This book focuses more on how to focus your mind and make it work for you. The main theme of this book is what Napoleon and Carnegie call Definite Purpose which is a driving force in your life that you have to find for yourself and use it to focus and magnify your energies. You can learn more about my thoughts on the book here.
11- Atomic Habits
By James Clear. This has been a wildly popular book about making good habits and breaking bad habits. I really liked this quote "Standardize before you optimize. You can't improve a habit that doesn't exist." Meaning that you should focus on being consistent in your habit before you try to go all out on it. For example, go to the gym for five minutes everyday and no longer until it is automatic and then start pushing yourself in your workout. Or write only one line in your journal every night until you are in the habit of it. It is a great book and an easy read.
Section 2: Leadership lessons from the military
Thoughts:
Military leadership is born under extreme circumstances. This has the benefit of condensing learning for the sake of survival. The lessons that I have found in these books are priceless. I have noticed a few downsides though. Because of the nature of war these leaders tend to think in terms of winning and losing as well as in terms of us vs them. In business and in other leadership applications the competition isn't always an enemy and winning may be impossible to determine. It is useful to keep your situation in context as you read these books.
1-Extreme Ownership
By Jocko Willink and Leif Babin. I give this book 5 stars. If you are a leader and you haven't heard of them then you are in for a treat. These guys, along with their company Echelon Front are currently at the forefront of leadership thinking. The book explores the mentality and attitude that a leader should have. Their experience comes from leading in the Navy SEALs and then from consulting businesses afterward. They have excellent resources on their website www.echelonfront.com including an online community and classes.
2-The Dichotomy of Leadership
By Jocko Willink and Leif Babin. This is the follow up to Extreme Ownership and is also by Jocko and Leif. This book explores the balancing act of a leader. It includes exploring things such as how you balance the dichotomy of caring for your people but also still being able to make hard calls. You don't need to read Extreme Ownership to understand this book but I recommend reading it first anyway.
3-Hal Moore on Leadership
By Harold Moore and Mike Guardia. Hal started the manuscript but passed away before he could finish the book so the Moore family asked Mike Guardia to finish it for him. This is a straight forward approach to leadership and Hal doesn't decorate his lessons in fancy terms or catchy phrases. I appreciate that honesty.
4- Turn The Ship Around!
By L. David Marquet. David was a commander on the Santa Fe. A US submarine. He chose to lead his soldiers in a very unconventional way that allowed them to have more ownership and be more proactive. If you are serious about building a strong team around you this is an excellent source and I would recommend it to every member of your team.
5- Give Me Tomorrow
By Patrick K. O'Donnell. A look at George Company in the Korean War. Not for the faint of heart. There are graphic descriptions of some of the worst parts of war. It does show examples of good and poor leadership and the consequences of both. Though not explicitly a leadership book it pays to understand how leader's decisions reverberate through other's lives. You can read more about my thoughts on this book here.
6- Beyond Band of Brothers
By Dick Winters and Cole C. Kingseed. If you watched the HBO show Band of Brothers then you know who Major Dick Winters was. The show revolves around the company and all of the different soldiers but this book focuses on Major Dick Winters and his experience as a leader during WWII. I loved reading about his experience because he crystalized into a great leader in a relatively short amount of time because of the circumstances he was placed in. To be able to read about that and see that happen to him is very valuable for any aspiring leader.
7- Conversations with Major Dick Winters
By Cole C. Kingseed. This is another opportunity to learn more from Major Dick Winters but this book explores his life after WWII. I think this is a valuable book to read for anyone who may someday end up in the spotlight because it explores the weight and challenges as well as the personal inconveniences and sacrifices of fame. He is also a good example of how to bear those challenges well.
Section 3: Team Building
Thoughts:
The best leaders are surrounded by people better than them. Leadership is a skill but it is only one, you can choose to be good at only a few things and great at only one. If you are going to be a great leader than you need to build a team of people around you that have skills in the areas that you lack. In addition to that you also only have a limited amount of time so even if you were the best at everything you would never be able to get to it all. Make building your team a priority.
1- Tribes
By Seth Godin. Seth Godin is a very smart man and is another individual at the forefront of leadership. He is also a marketing Guru so if you need help in marketing check out some of his other books. This book is more about building a following but your team will follow you for many of the same reasons that anyone else would. It's also fun to read Seth's books because he is very witty. Enjoy this one!
2- The Five Love Languages
By Gary Chapman. I know you might think this is a book written for couples and it is. But people feel loved or appreciated in different ways and it is useful to learn how to show appreciation to your team members in the ways they best feel appreciated. Gary does have a book for the work place called "The 5 Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace: Empowering Organizations by Encouraging People" but I haven't read it yet so I can't recommend it. I imagine that it is equally as useful.
3- Ego Free Leadrship
By Brandon Black and Shayne Hughes. Brandon is the executive in this book and Shayne is his guru. This is a true story about a leader who turned himself and his company around. We are often blind to our own faults and ego so it is helpful to read a story about someone that examined themselves and made the hard changes. This is true for every member of the team.
4- Linchpin
By Seth Godin. Another one by Seth Godin. This book is really about how to be a Linchpin but if you are a good leader not only should you be a Linchpin but your team should be full of them. Learn to look for them and learn to help other people become them. That is the quickest way to success in whatever you are doing.
5- Leadership and Self-Deception: Getting Out of the Box
By The Arbinger Institute. The Arbinger Institute is a powerhouse of good. Take a look around their website if you want to get a good idea of who they are. This book is good for the team because it can give you a common language so that when you are communicating about issues you are not miscommunicating. It has an abrupt ending but that is intentional. It is also less technical than a lot of books and easy to read. It would make a great book for a corporate retreat gift.
6- Culture Wins
By William Vanderbloemen. The main point of this book is that no matter what your culture is, good or bad, it will win. Like Peter Drucker said "Culture eats strategy for breakfast." But if you can get your culture right everything else will fall into place. This is a good book to share with your team so that you can build your culture together. One of my favorite quotes from this book is "The future doesn't belong to the talented. It belongs to the cultured."
7- Managers as Mentors
By Chip R. Bell and Marshall Goldsmith. The essence of this book is summed up in the Peter Drucker quote "Ask, don't tell." It is a book dedicated largely on how to be a good mentor to those that you manage and to do it largely using questions that help them to come to the solution on their own. I recommend this book to any manager who is trying to get more out their people. You can read more about my thoughts on this book here.
8- The Hands-Off Manager
By Steve Chandler and Duane Black. In this book the authors talk about managing with your heart and mind rather than managing with your hands. It's a good easy read and although I don't agree with everything in the book I agree with most of it. It is a good book for first time managers because it isn't overwhelming and can get them off on the right foot.
9- Daring Greatly
By Brené Brown. Brené Brown is a wonderful author and a great speaker. If you ever have the chance to hear her speak don't miss it. This book is a great book for team building and for sharing with the team because it gets in to the nitty gritty of what you actually have to be willing to do to in order to really connect with people. It might be uncomfortable but it is completely necessary. You can read more about my thoughts on this book here.
Section 4: Psychology
Thoughts:
Leaders lead people. People are interesting and often very confusing. If you are going to be a good leader you need to understand a little psychology. Actually, you are going to need to understand a lot. Not so you can psychoanalyze anyone but so you have a better idea of what is going on in people's minds and can understand them better.
1- Thinking Fast And Slow
By Daniel Kahneman. If you think you're smart your ego might take a bit of a beating with this one. Our brains lie to us all the time all day every day. Even when you know it is lying to you it is still impossible to catch it. This book will open your eyes to how much people don't understand the way their brain works and it will help you to comprehend why people behave in certain ways. Also, unless you have Ph.D. in Psychology don't expect to understand everything and retain it all on the first read.
2- Deep Survival
By Laurence Gonzales. This is a book about people in life or death situations and why they did or didn't survive. What does this have to do with leadership? People psychologically act like they are in life or death situations in many stressful situations even if they aren't in any real danger. In those kinds of situations you need to recognize people that are going to be helpful and also people that are going to take the ship down with them.
3- Can't Hurt Me
By David Goggins. This book has a lot of F-bombs in it. Just a fair warning. David is an ex-SEAL and a bunch of other really cool things including an ultra marathoner. That means he runs races that are over 100 miles. He explains how most of what you can and can't do is in your head and uses his personal experiences to make his points. I recommend listening to the audio version of this book if you can because David and his friend (who reads the book) take time between each chapter to explain some of the back story about what you just listened to. It makes it sort of an audio book and podcast hybrid. Lots and lots of F-bombs and other swearing though.
4- The 48 Laws Of Power
By Robert Greene. I wouldn't recommend reading this if you are a power hungry ego maniac. The temptation to burn yourself will be too great. But if you are leader who needs to look out for those kinds of people and also a leader who need to understand power so that they can do good then by all means read this book.
5- The Infinite Game
By Simon Sinek. We often think of business in terms of winning and losing like we do a football game but what does it mean to win in business? What time period are you talking about? What measurement? What sacrifices are you making for those short term goals that are going to destroy you in the long run? This book seeks to answer those questions.
6- Man's Search For Meaning
By Viktor E. Frankl. This book has had a huge impact on the world for good reason. Dr. Frankl survived the concentration camps of Nazi Germany and this is book about how he did that and what he learned about the human mind. He is surprisingly forgiving of his oppressors and his thoughts are deep. It is a good look at some of the worst and best of human nature in very difficult circumstances.
7- The Craving Mind
By Judson Brewer. The bulk of this book deals with addiction including the common addictions that we are all familiar with like smoking and alcohol but it digs even deeper into addiction and covers areas that you don't normally think of like being addicted to thinking. It also talks about dopamine hits that train behavior and why people act in strange ways to get those hits. It was interesting to me to get into my own mind and see where my behaviors were taking me and what was driving me. I think it is important as a leader to know how to influence yourself in positive ways including breaking bad habits and making good ones.
Section 5: Communication
Thoughts:
You can't lead if people can't understand you. The better you are understood the better chance you have of success.
1- Pitch Anything
By Oren Klaff. This is a book about pitching your ideas to your boss, investors, the public, you name it. Great stories and good solid advice.
2- Talk Like TED
By Carmine Gallo. Carmine Gallo is a fantastic author and I have a few of her books in my collection. This book gives you some insight into why TED Talks are so powerful. You can take those insights and immediately apply them to your speeches and meetings. You will become a more powerful speaker if you apply these principles.
3- Never Split The Difference
By Chris Voss. You are negotiating constantly and so getting some insight into how to negotiate like a pro can only help. After you read this book you should review the Negotiation Cheat Sheet before each big negotiation you have. You should also look up the Black Swan Group (Chris' company).
4- The Storyteller's Secret
By Carmine Gallo. People are not very logical but are very moved by stories. If you are trying to motivate people to do something try a story rather than just logic and numbers.
5- The Presentation Secrets Of Steve Jobs
By Carmine Gallo. Jobs was one of the best presenters of our time and Carmine took the time to study why he was so effective and she was kind enough to put it in a book for us. Read the Talk Like TED book first but this one is a great refresher with some new insights.
6- Stories That Stick
By Kindra Hall. This book will teach you how to tell a good story. Storytelling is a craft and stories motivate people. Do not underestimate the power of a good story. Great leaders use stories to motivate people and to change public opinion, data alone can never be as effective as a good story. You can learn more about my thoughts on this book here.
Section 6: Ancient Texts
Thoughts:
Any idea that is still valid a thousand years after it was first conceived deserves our attention. Much of what we understand today was built upon the ideas of those that went before and it is useful to retrace our intellectual linage to see what new insights we find.
1- The Art Of War
By Sun Tzu. It is really advice about war but it can be translated to business situations with little effort. I've read it multiple times and I find it interesting each time I read it. Very useful quotes and maxims to make points but you should remember to not use tactics meant for enemies on your allies.
2- The Prince
By Niccolo Machiavelli. Machiavelli gets a bad rap and he might deserve some of it but much of our leadership thinking today can be traced back to his ideas so don't hold your nose to high to his book. You may be surprised by what you can learn from him.
3- Training The Samurai Mind
By Thomas Cleary. Thomas Cleary translated some of the Samurai master's teachings. There are a lot of wise sayings in this book that will make you stop and think. He also gives some context to the teachings.
4- Meditations
By Marcus Aurelius. Marcus Aurelius was one of the great Emperors of Rome, if not the greatest and wisest of all of them. His Meditations are his perspective on life which is heavily Stoic in its dogma. I found this book to be useful to me because he forces you to take a wider perspective of things. The main point that I get from his Meditations is that you should focus on being good and kind and not worry about other's insults or fame or glory. We are all going to die and you might as well make your life a good one regardless of what anyone else might think or do.
5- On the Shortness of Life
By Lucius Seneca. Do you want to get to the end of your life and regret how you spent your time? Yeah me neither. This texts addresses how to live your life so that you don't regret how you lived at the end. Leaders should live lives free from regret because leaders are the examples that others look to. Leaders should also help those that follow them to live fulfilling lives. You can read more about my thoughts on this book here.
Section 7: Leadership Insights
Thoughts:
These are books that are focused more on leadership for leadership's sake. I think these kinds of books are helpful in the big picture sort of way.
1- Leadership By Example
By Dr. Sanjiv Chopra and David Fisher. This one is full of great short stories about leadership from many different leaders. Its useful to have on hand just so that you have those short stories at the ready if you need to inspire one of your leaders or if you need a little inspiration yourself. Very easy to read and super straight forward.
2-Supreme Command
By Eiot A. Cohen. This book centers around four historical leaders, Winston Churchill, Abraham Lincoln, Georges Clemenceau, and David Ben-Gurion. It has great historical examples and stories. It digs into some of the challenges facing these men and how they overcame them. A lot of focus is on the relationships between civilian and military leaders as well as contrasting the different opinions.
3- Leadership From The Inside Out
By Kevin Cashman. You can't make a horse drink you can only lead it to water. You can't make other people change but you can always change yourself. Of course change is hard and we resist it but if you don't know what to change or where to start, this book is a great place to start. Kevin's theory is that if you want to change your company, or anything outside of yourself, you have to look inside and change yourself. It rings true to me because you really only have power over yourself. I particularly enjoyed the thought that "If you are open to change new possibilities will flow to you. If you resist change you will treat it like an enemy," It hit me that if you are trying to implement something new and someone starts resisting it or treating it like an enemy what they are really resisting is change not you or your idea. Kevin gives some great ideas on how to circumvent that and you can read my thoughts on more of his work here.
4- Good To Great
By Jim Collins. A classic business book and it has a lot of really good insight. One of the main points of the book is that leadership is what really makes the difference in a successful company and Jim Collins introduces what he calls Level Five Leadership. A level five leader is one that is ambitious but he is ambitious for the company. This was one of the first books that really got me thinking about how true leaders are people that others will follow regardless of compensation or incentive. Level Five Leaders are the type of leaders that others want to follow. They are few and far between. Another thing that Jim Collins talks about is the Stockdale Paradox which you can read more about here.
5- 100 Ways to Create Wealth
By Sam Beckford and Steve Chandler. For a wealth creation book this book talks an awful lot about leadership. Which I think is fantastic. One of my favorite segments of the book goes as follows: "It is important to feel how you want others to feel. If you want employees and customers to be relaxed, happy, and giving then be that. And if you can't be that don't come in to work! Go do your walk by the lake with your little dog and enjoy yourself until you get up to the proper level of enjoyment and then walk into your place of work and be the happy person who arrives at 9:30 am instead of the upset person who comes in at 7:30 spreading bad vibes." You can learn more about my thoughts on the book here.
6- Good Authority
By Johnathan Raymond. I really liked this book and I am 90% or more on the same wavelength as Johnathan Raymond when it comes to leadership. This book addresses the issue that so many companies have with engagement and answers the right questions. This quote from the book touches on that issue: "The right question isn't "How do I get my people to engage?" the right question is "How can I get better at engaging with them?" You can read more about my thoughts on the book here.
7- The Heart of Leadership
By Mark Miller. Mark Miller is an executive at Chick-fil-a and has authored several books. In this one he talks about the H.E.A.R.T. of leadership standing for; Hunger for wisdom, Expect the best, Accept responsibility, Respond with courage, and Think others first. The book is written as a work of fiction and is easy to read. I really like this book and there was a moment when I was reading it where I had an "oh my heck I need to change and start doing that." I explain more about my moment and the H.E.A.R.T. concept here.
Section 8: Getting The Edge
Thoughts:
A good leader will look for the advantage in every situation. It helps to have some understanding of various topics that can be applied in many different situations. It takes creativity to be a good leader but creativity needs a fountain to pull from. This list is more of a catch all category of books that are not directly about leadership but the principles and knowledge in them will help you to be a better leader.
1- The Goal
By Eliyahu M. Goldratt and Jeff Cox. Written in the form of a novel this book is a good introduction to the Theory of Constraints. It is very common for leaders to focus on the wrong things and to become very efficient at doing the wrong thing. This book will help you learn to step back and look at processes differently so you don't live with incorrect assumptions.
2- Street Smarts
By Norm Brodsky and Bo Burlingham. An MBA is good but it won't teach you what you learn on the streets of business. This book is more about the nitty gritty and is great perspective that is different from most others.
3- Blue Ocean Strategy
By W. Chan Kim and Renee Mauborgne. A guide to moving your business out of a "red ocean" full of competition and "sharks" into an area of business where there is little or no competition. It is a good book to open your perspective to new avenues of possibility.
4- The Wealth of Nations
By Adam Smith. The basis of modern capitalism. This book helped me understand better the way our financial system works from a 10,000 foot view and also appreciate better the true value of things and how they change.
5- Amaze Every Customer Every Time
By Shep Hyken. This book is all about how to amaze your customers. It uses ACE Hardware stores as a case study and peppers in a number of interesting and true stories. I enjoyed it a lot and one of my favorite quotes form the book is "The way your community thinks about you depends on how you treat your customers." You can read more about my thoughts on the book here.